wise words.

"great merit, or great failings, will make you respected or despised; but trifles, little attentions, mere nothings, either done or reflected, will make you either liked or disliked, in the general run of the world." --lord chesterfield


i always say, it's the little things in life that help me get by. minutiae matter. that's what others deserve, too.

forget respecting me based on merit or achievement. i want to be liked for the person i truly am.

bad day.

let it be noted that i have hit rock bottom. of the bell curve, that is.

i'm over halfway done in argentina. and today was one of those days when all i wanted was to hug my mom. and be in sunny oxford with my friends. and eat something other than rice and veggies.

of course, every other "bad day" i've had was followed by many good days. the good (or normal) days far outnumber the bad, thank goodness. it's just when you get a bad one, it's generally pretty damn bad.

but i'll survive. earlier today, i had an enlightening conversation where i determined i am anything but weak. i'm a strong person, a strong woman. and by god, i'll deal with my stresses and make the best of it all. i can't let my missing home or dislike of certain cultural aspects bring me down. when i get disillusioned, it won't be the end of the world.

because, "after all, tomorrow is another day."

my belief.

Personally, I think that grammar is a way to attain beauty. When you speak, or read, or write, you can tell if you've said or read or written a fine sentence. You can recognize a well-turned phrase or an elegant style. But when you are applying the rules of grammar skillfully, you ascend to another level of the beauty of language. When you use grammar you peel back the layers, to see how it is all put together, see it quite naked, in a way. And that's where it becomes wonderful, because you say to yourself, "Look how well-made this is, how well-constructed it is! How solid and ingenious, rich and subtle!" I get completely carried away just knowing there are words of all different natures, and that you have to know them in order to be able to infer their potential usage and compatibility. I find there is nothing more beautiful, for example, than the very basic components of language, nouns and verbs. When you've grasped this, you've grasped the core of any statement. It's magnificent, don't you think? Nouns, verbs. . .

the elegance of the hedgehog

so much to look forward to.

in 14 days my parents and sister come to argentina for a week-long visit.
in 16 days i turn 21.
in 18 days i get to go back to one of my favourite places, buenos aires.
in 22 days one bff turns 21.
in 25 days i have a 9-day school holiday, when i get to travel through northern argentina.
in 65 days i will be done with this semester. and, the third twilight movie comes out (fangirl geek-out moment).
in 67 days another bff turns 21.
in 90 days my sissy turns 19.
in 96 days i get to move back to the motherland, and into my own apartment for the first time.
in 119 days a new semester at home will begin. a fresh start of sorts, if you will.

i know i don't say it enough, but i couldn't be more grateful of everything i've been given. the opportunity to come to argentina. an adoring family. wonderful friends. the chance at a fantastic education. the ability to live and enjoy life with money and resources i've received.

i love it. and although sometimes i may complain, i can't say i'd trade it for anything else. i'm excited for what my 21st year might hold. i've got a feeling the best is yet to come.

that time.

remember that time that i jumped off a cliff and went paragliding, and had one of the most tranquil, yet exhilarating experiences of my life, flying high in the air, with nothing to keep me from plunging to the ground except a thin piece of nylon above my head?

remember that time that i should have been scared for my life, but instead fearlessly leapt into the air as if there was no death but only life?

remember that time that my parents were furious, and forbade me to ever paraglide again, and to totally forget skydiving?

remember that time that i didn't really give a fuck?

if you live in fear of death, then you will never be alive. take chances. do crazy things. and enjoy every day as if it may be your last.

motivation?

“In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts:”
R.W. Emerson, Self-Reliance

success formula.

when you stop pointing fingers,
lying to yourself and others,
when you give yourself to the hungry,
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then your light will ride through darkness,
and your gloom will rise as the noonday sun,
and you'll continually find the desires of your heart in
scorched and dry places and strength in your bones,
and finally become like a watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
--mike jenzeh

realization.

i'm a lover, not a fighter.

old maid.

i officially turn 21 a month from yesterday.
i'm old. this date will do me little good in the immediate future, since in argentina the drinking age is "16" (aka if you have the money to buy it).
oh well. maybe when i get back to the states, i can actually buy my own booze for once. and become one of those awesome enablers for younger kids. can't wait.

am i obsessed with you?

i know. the world doesn't approve of miley cyrus. and 9 out of 10 people make fun of me for being a fan of hers. but that's okay. i love her music. and her style. and her carefree, go-getter attitude on life.

so, i'm a fan. and i'm not ashamed to admit it.

definition.

To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. it's not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living inspite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again even though you've been hurt before. Fearless is walking into your freshman year of high school at 15. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again... even though every time you've tried before, you've lost. it's fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who hurts you, even if you can't breathe without them. I think it's fearless to fall in love with your best friend, even though he's in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they will never stop doing, I think it's fearless to stop believing them. it's fearless to say you're not sorry. And walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then letting go and moving on... that's fearless too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That's why I write these songs. Because I think love is fearless.
-Taylor Swift

story of my life.

tidings from above.

in a cab tonight, i caught a memo from god. in the form of this song on the radio.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you, tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,
Oh lets go back to the start.
Running in circles, Comin' in tails
Heads on a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.

Oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start.
Runnin' in circles, Chasin' tails
Comin' back as we are

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.

I'm goin' back to the start.

and so it is.

destroy what destroys you

we are all going to die in 20 minutes

love should feel good

make displays not war

another.

All I really want is someone that’s gonna keep their promises, listen to me babbling or enjoy a comfortable silence with, someone to call when I get scared, someone to laugh at my mistakes, and someone to grab me when I walk away. Is that too much to ask for?

never safe.

Why is it that when I’m finally satisfied, something has to go wrong? Can’t I just be happy for once, please?

I’ve given up on so many things, please don’t ask me to give up on you.

right when you think everything is wonderful, it comes crashing down in front of your eyes. was i naive to believe that things could stay so perfect? shouldn't i have known we are humans and would fuck things up sooner than later?

tears fall. thoughts flow. pain throbs.

often i wonder why it is that i have such difficulty with trust and opening myself to others. then i realize that it's because of times like this. when i expect the best of people, but am hit with the harsh reality.

all i want in life is stability. a routine. normalcy. consistency. but that's not how it works. not for me, at least.

i hope i grow from times like this. into a stronger, more thoughtful, and persistent woman. i'm determined to keep trying. i get hurt every single time, but if you never know the pain, how can you ever know the happiness?

my thoughts in someone else's words.

I’m a bitch, deal with it. Because honestly, I’m gonna say what I want, do what I want, and be whoever I want. And nobody said that I had to like you.

I know I’m not the nicest person in the world. You don’t have to tell me. But at least I’m not hiding who I really am, like you.

and just for my best friend: i found this and thought you'd like it.
So there’s this boy; and the way he laughs, slaps a smile to my face. The way he talks, sends butterflies to my tummy. And maybe, just maybe, everything about him makes me happy.

these are courtesy of this tumblr. go and enjoy.

wonderful theme for life.

Woke up in London yesterday
Found myself in the city near Piccadilly
Don't really know how I got here
I got some pictures on my phone

New names and numbers that I don't know
Address to places like Abbey Road
Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want
We're young enough to say

Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life

To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Colorado

Sometimes there's airplanes I can't jump out
Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We are god of stories but please tell me
What there is to complain about

When you're happy like a fool
Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in

Hopelessly
I feel like there might be something that I'll miss
Hopelessly
I feel like the window closes oh so quick
Hopelessly
I'm taking a mental picture of you now
'Cuz hopelessly
The hope is we have so much to feel good about

brevity.

all good things shall come to pass.

for that matter, most bad things as well.

i simply regret that when good things disappear, i have a sour taste in my mouth. because more often than not, i'm just passing my happiness onto someone else. and of course, as glad as it makes me for that person, i'm naturally a bit jealous. of what i had, what i lost, and what they took from me.

i must learn to seize happiness and goodness when it comes my way. i have to protect it, cling to it, and never, ever let it go.

a blessing and a curse.

good people. argentina is full of them.
being around them reminds me that the world actually is a good place. living in america, i sometimes wonder how there can be so much bad around me. i've come to realize though, that human nature is inherently good. and it gives me hope.
however, there is a downside. it magnifies my own flaws. i can see exactly where i am lacking. i could be so much kinder. i could be so much more caring. i could be so much more dedicated. i could be more good. i am good. but there is always more good to be had.
i will never forgive myself for not taking action in times when others needed me. the pictures run over and over in my mind. all i can do to console myself is remember that there will always be another chance to do good. and next time, i can be that person to console the woman weeping in the church. or to pick the handicapped girl off the ground. or to feed the little girl whose parents are nowhere to be found.
as much as i care, i know i can care more. i know i can love more. i know i can serve others more. and from this point on, i will. i am good people.

the beginning.

i went on an adventure over the last 10 days. i visited a number of places throughout southern argentina and the patagonia region. after careful calculation, i realized that i traveled 7198 km (all by bus) during this trip. to put that into perspective, that's approximately 4500 miles.
i enjoyed every single kilometer of that journey. and i hope that those initial 7200 kilometers only lead to thousands more over my lifetime.
i keep saying that my trip was an "adventure". but i take that back. it wasn't an adventure. my life is my adventure. that brief trip was nothing more than one small destination along the path of the journey of my life. and that destination, in patagonia, was just the beginning. it gives me inspiration to find more destinations. to travel to many more places. and to discover the world.